It use to be my All time favorite song. I use to enjoy listening to this song. But after Graduation and Break up.
I'll feel like tearing down. I cried this once in front of my good friends in class. We talks about how are we going to be separate. Where are we going to be. What will we be doing in future. Will we miss the fun. Jokes and laughter. I really really miss all the dearest times. I'm really happy that i met them. They were my joy.
He use to promise me that he'll sing this song to me on my birthday. End up. He broken his promise again. That is why, I never believe in promise from the start. He was my longest. He made me use up every single energy of mine just to confront him. He was my sweetest. He made me talk to him directly. He made me become more gentle. He made me open up my heart. Now that we're over. We walk our life like nothing happen..
I'm going to let go this lingering feeling. Moving to someone who will be giving me happiness. Even though he might not be the kind i was hoping to get. A guy that won't know how to play guitar. A guy that won't be speaking much of English. But i believe his a guy that will be able to dote and care for me. A guy that will give me secure. Even without me asking for. I'm going to gain back what i lost.
Sometime I'm too shy just to let you know how i feel.
.Friday, June 27, 2008 ; 7:06 PM -
Each day is special.
Lets just say that this week for me is abit depress?
I'm feeling abit sick. Coughing none stop. Block nose at time.
GPA points is out. Got quite low. 1.923. It really depress me alot.
Relationship stress out. Phobia is holding myself. Self protective.
Friendship break down. Quarrels not settled.
Totally broke. Wallet left a bit of money.
5 Things made me so depress for just like few days after camp. Maybe getting sick isn't making me depress. But the rest were making me feeling down. Lack of energy. Running away from problems. Giving excuses. I really don't know what i'm doing. I've got no idea what do i really want now. I feel so stress out. Can't rely on buddy much. Friends got their own problems. What should i do?
Getting depress over and over again. Explaining things that no idea if i'm right or wrong. tell me what should i do...
.Monday, June 23, 2008 ; 7:34 PM -
Each day is special.
Finish camp today. Very tired. Didn't really have enough sleep each nights. Third day rain and coach wasn't feeling well. Went cycling with teammates.
BBQ at night. Eating, slacking, talking. Enjoying talking to eat person.
After BBQ, Some incident happens. quarrels occur. Tears were shed. Was sad for that.
Last day of camp. Everyone was enjoying themselves at the beach. Got a bit sun burn. Played some games in the water. The very last game, another incident happen.
Things starting to change. Parties quarreling with each other. Seems like quarreling one thing after another. Getting more and more to no links.
All i can do now is to pray hard everything will be alright. Pray hard people change to a better one. Being more understanding ones.
praying hard from my deepest heart. Please let nothing bad happen.
.Friday, June 20, 2008 ; 12:57 AM -
Each day is special.
Just came back from KL today. Damn tired. Guess falling sick soon. Got to go for camp tomorrow. Sure going to be dead.
Before heading to KL, Went back to hometown for a visit. Went shopping and singing with cousins. Finally took some pictures with them ever since so long! Might upload another time...
Went to KL for basketball friendly match. Didn't get to play. Abit disappointed. At least had fun around with the team i guess. Real fun hanging out with them. If they aren't around, i might quit basketball already. Thanks alot CE Boomers.
A bit of conflict and misunderstanding happen. With other people and with own people. Once a CE, Always a CE.
There's camp tomorrow. Hopefully everything will be alright.
Was watching some videos. Came across this boy that plays guitar damn well! My mouth was like wide open. I want to be like him! Guess i'll just have to practice guitar more on my own then.
Watch this! There's alot more. But this is one my favorite song.
.Tuesday, June 10, 2008 ; 12:27 AM -
Each day is special.
Holidays here. Bored yet fun. Basketball getting more and more fun.
Camps, Trips, Visit. Getting busy more and more. Hoping more and more FUN things around.
My aim, ' Smile all i want ' =)
Even though there might be things there will get me down. Actions of hurt. Word of insult.
I'll be strong.
Confusing about things.. What should i do?
.Wednesday, June 4, 2008 ; 11:41 PM -
Each day is special.
I've been abit down this few days. Money problem i guess. Now i'm paying double for it. Damn sad.
At the same time, I've been thinking if i got a crush on Someone. Also at the same time, I think we're just friends. Someone who got someone loved and love someone.
Guess i'm taking a step back, Just in case.
Also at the same time, Wondering if i should go with someone or not. The last time i got into relationship was last year Christmas. Its been around 6 months now. Doesn't seems to have the feeling to have one.
I'm losing hope in a relationship.
Even if i fall in love, I doubt that i'll go with that person. I rather being in love getting hurt. Rather then getting hurt in a Relationship. Makes no sense? I'm confuse myself also...
Contradicting myself in my own thinking. Silly thinking.
.Sunday, June 1, 2008 ; 11:34 PM -
Each day is special.
I feel that I'm struggling. Struggle for a way to a place with no worries. Nothing to confuse with.
Money, Relationship, Friendships. If this continue, i might just collapse anytime. Holding this every since i step in ITE.
I need to work. I need to find a solution. I really need to do sometime before more things happen.
